Welcome Home
I found this in my inbox this morning. It was from an old friend who forwards a dozen or so emails each week. It got me thinking about my homecoming 37 years ago. I arrived home from the USS Sanctuary (AH17), a Navy hospital ship, on February 28, 1968. There was no cheering.
I checked out this story on the Urban Legend site (www.snopes.com). The status is undetermined. Maybe it really happened. Maybe it is an exercise in creative writing. It is however, the kind of homecoming that every one of our returning men and women should receive. Tom
Welcome Home
I sat in my seat of the Boeing 767 waiting for everyone to hurry and stow their carry-ons and grab a seat so we could start what I was sure to be a long , uneventful flight home. With the huge capacity and slow moving people taking their time to stuff luggage far too big for the overhead and never paying much attention to holding up the growing line behind them, I simply shook my head knowing that this flight was not starting out very well.
I was anxious to get home to see my loved ones so I was focused on "my" issues and just felt like standing up and yelling for some of these clowns to get their act together. I knew I couldn't say a word so I just thumbed thru the "Sky Mall" magazine from the seat pocket in front of me. You know it's really getting rough when you resort to the over priced, useless sky mall crap to break the monotony. With everyone finally seated, we just sat there with the cabin door open and no one in any hurry to get us going although we were well past the scheduled take off time. No wonder the airline industry is in trouble I told myself. Just then, the attendant came on the intercom to inform us all that we were being delayed.
The entire plane let out a collective groan. She resumed speaking to say "We are holding the aircraft for some very special people who are on their way to the plane and the delay shouldn't be more than 5 minutes. The word came after waiting six times as long as we were promised that "I" was finally going to be on my way home. Why the hoopla over "these" folks? I was expecting some celebrity or sport figure to be the reason for! the hold up.........Just get their butts in a seat and lets hit the gas I thought.
The attendant came back on the speaker to announce in a loud and excited voice that we were being joined by several U. S. Marines returning home from Iraq!!! Just as they walked on board, the entire plane erupted into applause. The men were a bit taken by surprise by the 340 people cheering for them as they searched for their seats. They were having their hands shook and touched by almost everyone who was within an arm's distance of them as they passed down the aisle. One elderly woman kissed the hand of one of the Marines as he passed by her.
The applause, whistles and cheering didn't stop for a long time.
When we were finally airborne, "I" was not the only civilian checking his conscience as to the delays in "me" getting home, finding! my easy chair, a cold beverage and the remote in my hand. These men had done for all of us and I had been complaining silently about "me" and "my" issues. I took for granted the everyday freedoms I enjoy and the conveniences of the American way of life I took for granted others paid the price for my ability to moan and complain about a few minutes delay to "me" those Heroes going home to their loved ones.
I attempted to get my selfish outlook back in order and minutes before we landed I suggested to the attendant that she announce over the speaker a request for everyone to remain in their seats until our hero's were allowed to gather their things and be first off the plane. The cheers and applause continued until the last Marine stepped off and we all rose to go about our too often taken for granted everyday freedoms.........
I felt proud of them. I felt it an honor and a privilege to be among the first to we! I come them home and say Thank You for a job well done. I vowed that I will never forget that flight nor the lesson learned. I can't say it enough, THANK YOU to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this and a prayer for those who cannot because they are no longer with us.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Friday, February 25, 2005
Sweet Dreams
The following is from Joe Tye’s Spark Plug for February 25, 2005.
Joe has a hypothesis, but it’s a hypothesis based on facts. These are the facts:
Fact 1: The average American is chronically sleep-deprived, to the tune of upwards of an hour per night.
Fact 2: The average American spends between 3 and 4 hours per day watching television.
Fact 3: Long before you become physically dysfunctional, you begin to lose mental and emotional capacities. The first thing to go is usually the ability to think creatively. Shortly thereafter, you lose the capacity to be enthusiastic and optimistic.
Fact 4: People who are sleep-deprived have impaired judgment that causes them to do stupid things such as running up big credit card bills through shopping therapy as a replacement for real joy (debt can put a real damper on love within a household).
Fact 5: Sleep deprivation causes reduced energy levels, resulting in people ignoring their loved ones and not undertaking enjoyable but strenuous activities in favor of less emotionally-taxing activities such as couch vegetation.
Here’s his hypothesis: If that average American would replace just one hour of daily TV watching with one extra hour of sleep, there would be a lot more love, a lot more joy, and a lot more prosperity in this world.
How about it, are you getting enough sleep? I know I’m not.
Joe has a hypothesis, but it’s a hypothesis based on facts. These are the facts:
Fact 1: The average American is chronically sleep-deprived, to the tune of upwards of an hour per night.
Fact 2: The average American spends between 3 and 4 hours per day watching television.
Fact 3: Long before you become physically dysfunctional, you begin to lose mental and emotional capacities. The first thing to go is usually the ability to think creatively. Shortly thereafter, you lose the capacity to be enthusiastic and optimistic.
Fact 4: People who are sleep-deprived have impaired judgment that causes them to do stupid things such as running up big credit card bills through shopping therapy as a replacement for real joy (debt can put a real damper on love within a household).
Fact 5: Sleep deprivation causes reduced energy levels, resulting in people ignoring their loved ones and not undertaking enjoyable but strenuous activities in favor of less emotionally-taxing activities such as couch vegetation.
Here’s his hypothesis: If that average American would replace just one hour of daily TV watching with one extra hour of sleep, there would be a lot more love, a lot more joy, and a lot more prosperity in this world.
How about it, are you getting enough sleep? I know I’m not.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Certified Organic Pot
It was bound to happen. Medical-marijuana is legal in California (along with ten other states) and now Mendocino County officials want to be able to certify the locally grown pot as organic.
According to an article from the Associated Press article, the officials in Mendocino County are simply responding to the request of two local growers. There is also concern of reports of people getting sick from pesticide treated pot.
It seems to be the next logical step as medical-marijuana moves into the mainstream. The states with medical marijuana laws are issuing “user” cards. According to the article at least one insurance company paid a claim for a stolen pot plant.
Certifying pot as organic will open all the doors:
County fairs will be revived as pot growers compete for the best in county and the best plants will go on to the state fairs. Will the judges get to smoke the pot as part of their evaluation?
The state agriculture research centers and state agriculture colleges will be able to conduct research on improving the pot plants.
Will we see pot growing 4-H clubs? How about a pot growing merit badge for Scouts?
What fun is it to just look at the plants in the fair. Will pot we have pot tasting parties like we do wine? Why should the judges at the county fair have all the fun?
Counties, such as Josephine in Oregon, would be able to advertise that their pot is the “best in Oregon”. Please note, I lived in Josephine County for six years and never smoked any of their pot. Experienced second hand smoke – yes.
Of course all of this leads to the final acceptance by the state – the taxing of pot. It would just be another sin tax that would help balance the local budgets. It might even replace the declining alcohol and tobacco tax revenues.
According to an article from the Associated Press article, the officials in Mendocino County are simply responding to the request of two local growers. There is also concern of reports of people getting sick from pesticide treated pot.
It seems to be the next logical step as medical-marijuana moves into the mainstream. The states with medical marijuana laws are issuing “user” cards. According to the article at least one insurance company paid a claim for a stolen pot plant.
Certifying pot as organic will open all the doors:
County fairs will be revived as pot growers compete for the best in county and the best plants will go on to the state fairs. Will the judges get to smoke the pot as part of their evaluation?
The state agriculture research centers and state agriculture colleges will be able to conduct research on improving the pot plants.
Will we see pot growing 4-H clubs? How about a pot growing merit badge for Scouts?
What fun is it to just look at the plants in the fair. Will pot we have pot tasting parties like we do wine? Why should the judges at the county fair have all the fun?
Counties, such as Josephine in Oregon, would be able to advertise that their pot is the “best in Oregon”. Please note, I lived in Josephine County for six years and never smoked any of their pot. Experienced second hand smoke – yes.
Of course all of this leads to the final acceptance by the state – the taxing of pot. It would just be another sin tax that would help balance the local budgets. It might even replace the declining alcohol and tobacco tax revenues.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Thoughts of Gary Hann
I made my first posting to my Faces of Oregon Blog. I decided to use an article I had written about a high school classmate we lost during the Vietnam War.
In the process of rebuilding my computer files I came across an article I had written about my best friend in high school.
I wrote this in September of 2001. An email from one of my twin daughters, talking about her first day of high school, reminded me of a similar day, 41 years ago. It was on the first day of school at Stayton Union High School, in Stayton, Oregon, that I met Gary Hann. I don’t remember the class, but we were sitting in alphabetical order and this redhead from Aumsville starting bugging me right from the beginning.
We remained friends through our 4 years of high school. During our junior year I decided to join the Naval Reserve. I was planning to join the Navy upon graduation. By joining the reserves I figured I could gain experience and have a step ahead of my classmates. Gary decided to join also. His father had been a Marine during WWII and refused to allow Gary to join the Marine Corps. He decided that the alternative way to the Marines was via the U.S. Navy Hospital Corps, whose members provide the medical support for the Marine Corps.
During the summer between our junior and senior years we spent two weeks at a reserve boot camp at the Naval Amphibious Base, Coronado, California. The San Diego Naval Training Center had been closed due to meningitis outbreak and a temporary two-week boot camp was set up across the bay. After those two weeks, we spent two weeks aboard a Destroyer Escort, stationed at Treasure Island, San Francisco. Those two weeks included a weekend cruise to Monterey Bay.
Upon graduation Gary and I reported to the Hospital Corps School in San Diego, California, for a sixteen-week course in instruction. During this time the Gulf of Tonkin incident was stages, which lead to the buildup of U.S. forces in Viet Nam.
Corps School was crowded. We were together 24 hours a day for those sixteen weeks. He had the bottom bunk in and I had the top one. When Gary found out I was writing Wanda, who was a year behind us in school, he started writing her too. When he didn’t write, she would ask about Gary and would also let me know when he did wrote.
Those sixteen weeks went by fast and we all realized that we had a good chance of going to Viet Nam with the Marine Corps. Close friendship drafted apart during this period. I think that deep down we knew that many of the class would not survive. We saw the reminders everyday. The halls of Corps School were lined with the pictures and citations of the members of the Hospital Corps who had been awarded the Medal of Honor. Most had been awarded while serving with Marine Corps units and most had been awarded posthumeriously. We were young, invincible and didn’t dwell on such things.
Upon graduation I was ordered to the Naval Hospital on the Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton, California. Gary went to the Naval Hospital, Oakland, California. After six weeks of ward duty, Gary volunteered for duty with the Fleet Marine Force and his offer was accepted. The Field Medicine School is at Camp De Mar, on the beach at Camp Pendleton. I saw Gary and couple of times. He spent a weekend with me in the barracks at the hospital.
Every month another 25-30 corpsmen were drafted from the hospital and every month my name was missing from the list. I lasted until December, when my name was finally on the list. I believe there were 25 of us on the list. 23 sets of orders came from the Bureau of Personnel: Fleet Marine Corps. Two of us waited and waited. I remember joking with a nurse that I was going on a Mediterranean cruise. We were both shocked when I got orders to the USS America, the Navy’s newest aircraft carrier and she was on her first Mediterranean cruise.
So, while Gary went west to the Fleet Marine Force and duty in Viet Nam, I went east and joined the USS America at Nice, France.
It was another classmate, Wanda, who wrote and told me that Gary had been killed in Viet Nam. It was a shock.
That was in 1966 I have not forgotten Gary and his friendship. For years I felt that it was my fault that he was killed. He joined the Navy because I did. He went to Hospital Corps School because I did. It has taken a long time to realize that Gary would have joined the service and would have found his way to Viet Nam.
I stayed in the Navy and dedicated my service to the memory of Gary Hann.
I moved to Gresham, Oregon, in September 2000 and on a clear spring day I made my way to the Oregon Viet Nam Memorial, in Washington Park, above downtown Portland. Here, on a series of marble tablets, are the names of 741 sons of Oregon, who gave their lives during the Viet Nam War. I said goodbye to Gary that day. I have taken others and introduced them to Gary.
Thank you Gary, for being such a great friend. You will always be a part of my life and you the first of the Faces of Oregon.
In the process of rebuilding my computer files I came across an article I had written about my best friend in high school.
I wrote this in September of 2001. An email from one of my twin daughters, talking about her first day of high school, reminded me of a similar day, 41 years ago. It was on the first day of school at Stayton Union High School, in Stayton, Oregon, that I met Gary Hann. I don’t remember the class, but we were sitting in alphabetical order and this redhead from Aumsville starting bugging me right from the beginning.
We remained friends through our 4 years of high school. During our junior year I decided to join the Naval Reserve. I was planning to join the Navy upon graduation. By joining the reserves I figured I could gain experience and have a step ahead of my classmates. Gary decided to join also. His father had been a Marine during WWII and refused to allow Gary to join the Marine Corps. He decided that the alternative way to the Marines was via the U.S. Navy Hospital Corps, whose members provide the medical support for the Marine Corps.
During the summer between our junior and senior years we spent two weeks at a reserve boot camp at the Naval Amphibious Base, Coronado, California. The San Diego Naval Training Center had been closed due to meningitis outbreak and a temporary two-week boot camp was set up across the bay. After those two weeks, we spent two weeks aboard a Destroyer Escort, stationed at Treasure Island, San Francisco. Those two weeks included a weekend cruise to Monterey Bay.
Upon graduation Gary and I reported to the Hospital Corps School in San Diego, California, for a sixteen-week course in instruction. During this time the Gulf of Tonkin incident was stages, which lead to the buildup of U.S. forces in Viet Nam.
Corps School was crowded. We were together 24 hours a day for those sixteen weeks. He had the bottom bunk in and I had the top one. When Gary found out I was writing Wanda, who was a year behind us in school, he started writing her too. When he didn’t write, she would ask about Gary and would also let me know when he did wrote.
Those sixteen weeks went by fast and we all realized that we had a good chance of going to Viet Nam with the Marine Corps. Close friendship drafted apart during this period. I think that deep down we knew that many of the class would not survive. We saw the reminders everyday. The halls of Corps School were lined with the pictures and citations of the members of the Hospital Corps who had been awarded the Medal of Honor. Most had been awarded while serving with Marine Corps units and most had been awarded posthumeriously. We were young, invincible and didn’t dwell on such things.
Upon graduation I was ordered to the Naval Hospital on the Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton, California. Gary went to the Naval Hospital, Oakland, California. After six weeks of ward duty, Gary volunteered for duty with the Fleet Marine Force and his offer was accepted. The Field Medicine School is at Camp De Mar, on the beach at Camp Pendleton. I saw Gary and couple of times. He spent a weekend with me in the barracks at the hospital.
Every month another 25-30 corpsmen were drafted from the hospital and every month my name was missing from the list. I lasted until December, when my name was finally on the list. I believe there were 25 of us on the list. 23 sets of orders came from the Bureau of Personnel: Fleet Marine Corps. Two of us waited and waited. I remember joking with a nurse that I was going on a Mediterranean cruise. We were both shocked when I got orders to the USS America, the Navy’s newest aircraft carrier and she was on her first Mediterranean cruise.
So, while Gary went west to the Fleet Marine Force and duty in Viet Nam, I went east and joined the USS America at Nice, France.
It was another classmate, Wanda, who wrote and told me that Gary had been killed in Viet Nam. It was a shock.
That was in 1966 I have not forgotten Gary and his friendship. For years I felt that it was my fault that he was killed. He joined the Navy because I did. He went to Hospital Corps School because I did. It has taken a long time to realize that Gary would have joined the service and would have found his way to Viet Nam.
I stayed in the Navy and dedicated my service to the memory of Gary Hann.
I moved to Gresham, Oregon, in September 2000 and on a clear spring day I made my way to the Oregon Viet Nam Memorial, in Washington Park, above downtown Portland. Here, on a series of marble tablets, are the names of 741 sons of Oregon, who gave their lives during the Viet Nam War. I said goodbye to Gary that day. I have taken others and introduced them to Gary.
Thank you Gary, for being such a great friend. You will always be a part of my life and you the first of the Faces of Oregon.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Second Wind Dreams
A couple of years ago I became away of an organization called Second Wind Dreams (http://www.secondwind.org/) They have goal of enhancing the quality of life for those living in eldercare communities.
The program began with the work and passion of P. K. Bevill, PhD. Who co-wrote Second Wind, a heart warming book about life within nursing homes. Today the program reaches facilities in 38 states, Canada and India, and is changing our perception of aging one dream at a time.
According to their website there are basically five categories of dreams: (the following is taken from the website)
·Relationship Based Dreams: So that the resident can reunite with friends and family members that they may not have seen in many years. One resident had not seen his brother in over 40 years! Approximately 12% of the dreams are this kind.
·Life Long Dreams: Learning to play the piano, swimming with the dolphins or going to Graceland are just a few of these powerful dreams. Approximately 6% of dreams fall into this category.
· Dreams to Relive Past Experiences: A simple trip to a favorite restaurant, paint supplies so that a resident can go back to creating paintings make the difference, feeling needed when they can relive their jobs. These are 14% of the dreams.
·Dreams for Fun: An unbelievable 46% of the dreams fulfilled are just for fun. Our residents want to go to the Price Is Right, ride a go-cart and ride all the roller coasters at an amusement park.
·Need Based Dreams: Imagine needing something as simple as a cup holder for your wheelchair or a dress so that you can attend church again and no matter what you do you will never be able to get it. This is a humbling 22% of the dreams.
Seniors who are living in eldercare communities are most need of assistance. Family support may be non-existent, money can be at a premium, especially for our Medicaid supported seniors, and these senior adults are often our frailest— the ones who need a dream fulfilled.
The lack of dreams and goals can have serious physical and mental consequences. By fulfilling dreams we improve the quality of the residents’ lives by stimulating residents both physically and mentally while giving them the special attention they deserve.
According to Second Wind Dream, older adults and their dreams shine much brighter than anything we will do. “As each dream unfolds, the local community sees the wonder of older adults and understands that each stage of life is unique and bountiful. Long after the dream has been fulfilled, the effects linger on.
Organizations, such as Second Wind Dreams, cannot do it all. According to the Texas Department of Aging and Disability Services, 60% of nursing home residents have no visitors.
What have you done to reach out to the eldercare residents and other elderly citizens in your community. Take a minute and post a comment or send me an email.
The program began with the work and passion of P. K. Bevill, PhD. Who co-wrote Second Wind, a heart warming book about life within nursing homes. Today the program reaches facilities in 38 states, Canada and India, and is changing our perception of aging one dream at a time.
According to their website there are basically five categories of dreams: (the following is taken from the website)
·Relationship Based Dreams: So that the resident can reunite with friends and family members that they may not have seen in many years. One resident had not seen his brother in over 40 years! Approximately 12% of the dreams are this kind.
·Life Long Dreams: Learning to play the piano, swimming with the dolphins or going to Graceland are just a few of these powerful dreams. Approximately 6% of dreams fall into this category.
· Dreams to Relive Past Experiences: A simple trip to a favorite restaurant, paint supplies so that a resident can go back to creating paintings make the difference, feeling needed when they can relive their jobs. These are 14% of the dreams.
·Dreams for Fun: An unbelievable 46% of the dreams fulfilled are just for fun. Our residents want to go to the Price Is Right, ride a go-cart and ride all the roller coasters at an amusement park.
·Need Based Dreams: Imagine needing something as simple as a cup holder for your wheelchair or a dress so that you can attend church again and no matter what you do you will never be able to get it. This is a humbling 22% of the dreams.
Seniors who are living in eldercare communities are most need of assistance. Family support may be non-existent, money can be at a premium, especially for our Medicaid supported seniors, and these senior adults are often our frailest— the ones who need a dream fulfilled.
The lack of dreams and goals can have serious physical and mental consequences. By fulfilling dreams we improve the quality of the residents’ lives by stimulating residents both physically and mentally while giving them the special attention they deserve.
According to Second Wind Dream, older adults and their dreams shine much brighter than anything we will do. “As each dream unfolds, the local community sees the wonder of older adults and understands that each stage of life is unique and bountiful. Long after the dream has been fulfilled, the effects linger on.
Organizations, such as Second Wind Dreams, cannot do it all. According to the Texas Department of Aging and Disability Services, 60% of nursing home residents have no visitors.
What have you done to reach out to the eldercare residents and other elderly citizens in your community. Take a minute and post a comment or send me an email.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Down but not out!
For the past two days I have been experiencing major computer problems. Not all is lost. A recent backup will allow me to recover much of my work. It's just the pain of having a good friend die.
Friday, February 11, 2005
A 10 Second Kiss Can Save Your Life - Part 2
Here is part 2 of the 10 Second KISS. These are the excuses people have come up with for not practicing the 10 second kiss.
Excuses:
Excuse #1: I’d like to give my wife a ten second kiss when I get home, but I’m afraid my breath will smell and she’ll be offended.
Solution: Invest in fifty two rolls of breath mints, one for each week of the year.
Excuse #2. I can’t kiss and keep time all at once.
Solution. Set the microwave or oven timer until you get a feel for how long 10 seconds is. If you go over ten seconds…oh, well!
Let’s try something. Everyone close your eyes and raise your right arm. Either one will do. When I say start, keep your arm up for what you think is ten seconds, then lower it. OK, let’s go.
Excellent. Now, turn to the person sitting next to you… just kidding.
Excuse #3. The kids (or grandkids) keep getting in the way.
Solution. Let them try. What better childhood membory could they have than trying to squeeze between Mommy and Daddy or Grandmother and Grandfather while they were kissing.
Excuse #4. The phone rings, or I’m already talking to someone on it and can’t clear my mind of our conversation when I hang up.
Solution. Let the phone ring. Whoever it is can call back or leave a message on your answering machine. If you’re on the phone, tell whoever you’re talking to that you spouse just walked in and you want to finish the conversation later. Your spouse will get the message that they matter more to you than whoever was on the other end of the phone line. The same goes for the computer.
Excuse #5. The Dog is all over me as soon as I open the door.
Solution. Life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies. No. Just don’t dare pet your dog before you kiss your spouse. Block out the barking, panting, sniffing and go for the kiss.
Excuse #6. When I come through the door at the end of the day, I get hit with a million problems at once. I cannot get my spouse to stop talking along enough to kiss me.
Solution. Don’t come in the same door every day. Come in another entrance and kiss your spouse. Sneak in the side door.
Excuse #7. My spouse seems so tense at the end of the day. I don’t want to be a bother.
Solution. The loving energy you’ll transfer to your spouse through your kiss will work wonders to relieve tense and make your spouse feel cherished.
Excuse #8. The mail always comes first.
Solution. Hide the mail and give it to your spouse after you kiss. After a few days the mail will be forgotten.
Excuse #9. A kiss always leads to sex.
Solution. Don’t let it. I kiss shows you love your spouse, rather than a means to an end. The alternative is just accept it.
Excuse #10. I only see my boyfriend once or twice a week and it’s usually in a public place. It’s too embarrassing to kiss each other like that in public.
Solution. I agree. Why not meet in the parking lot instead and give each other the kiss there.
These have been just 10 of what are probabley hundreds of excuses. You have one. So what. Just Kiss.
The 10 Second Kiss is only part of the K.I.S.S. Plan that author Ellen Kreidman, PhD, describes in her book The 10 Second Kiss.
After the 10 second kiss, comes:
· The 5 second compliment. Compliment at least one thing your mate has said or done – every day.
· 30 minute talk. Talk and listen to each other for thirty minutes every day (with the TV off)
· Hug for 30 seconds – every day.
· Stay connected sexually.
· Plan a fantasy for each other.
· Make love on the spur of the moment.
· Laugh together – every day.
· Make all your decisions based on love.
Excuses:
Excuse #1: I’d like to give my wife a ten second kiss when I get home, but I’m afraid my breath will smell and she’ll be offended.
Solution: Invest in fifty two rolls of breath mints, one for each week of the year.
Excuse #2. I can’t kiss and keep time all at once.
Solution. Set the microwave or oven timer until you get a feel for how long 10 seconds is. If you go over ten seconds…oh, well!
Let’s try something. Everyone close your eyes and raise your right arm. Either one will do. When I say start, keep your arm up for what you think is ten seconds, then lower it. OK, let’s go.
Excellent. Now, turn to the person sitting next to you… just kidding.
Excuse #3. The kids (or grandkids) keep getting in the way.
Solution. Let them try. What better childhood membory could they have than trying to squeeze between Mommy and Daddy or Grandmother and Grandfather while they were kissing.
Excuse #4. The phone rings, or I’m already talking to someone on it and can’t clear my mind of our conversation when I hang up.
Solution. Let the phone ring. Whoever it is can call back or leave a message on your answering machine. If you’re on the phone, tell whoever you’re talking to that you spouse just walked in and you want to finish the conversation later. Your spouse will get the message that they matter more to you than whoever was on the other end of the phone line. The same goes for the computer.
Excuse #5. The Dog is all over me as soon as I open the door.
Solution. Life begins when the children leave home and the dog dies. No. Just don’t dare pet your dog before you kiss your spouse. Block out the barking, panting, sniffing and go for the kiss.
Excuse #6. When I come through the door at the end of the day, I get hit with a million problems at once. I cannot get my spouse to stop talking along enough to kiss me.
Solution. Don’t come in the same door every day. Come in another entrance and kiss your spouse. Sneak in the side door.
Excuse #7. My spouse seems so tense at the end of the day. I don’t want to be a bother.
Solution. The loving energy you’ll transfer to your spouse through your kiss will work wonders to relieve tense and make your spouse feel cherished.
Excuse #8. The mail always comes first.
Solution. Hide the mail and give it to your spouse after you kiss. After a few days the mail will be forgotten.
Excuse #9. A kiss always leads to sex.
Solution. Don’t let it. I kiss shows you love your spouse, rather than a means to an end. The alternative is just accept it.
Excuse #10. I only see my boyfriend once or twice a week and it’s usually in a public place. It’s too embarrassing to kiss each other like that in public.
Solution. I agree. Why not meet in the parking lot instead and give each other the kiss there.
These have been just 10 of what are probabley hundreds of excuses. You have one. So what. Just Kiss.
The 10 Second Kiss is only part of the K.I.S.S. Plan that author Ellen Kreidman, PhD, describes in her book The 10 Second Kiss.
After the 10 second kiss, comes:
· The 5 second compliment. Compliment at least one thing your mate has said or done – every day.
· 30 minute talk. Talk and listen to each other for thirty minutes every day (with the TV off)
· Hug for 30 seconds – every day.
· Stay connected sexually.
· Plan a fantasy for each other.
· Make love on the spur of the moment.
· Laugh together – every day.
· Make all your decisions based on love.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
A 10 Second Kiss Can Save Your Life - Part 1
This is from a presentation that I put together a couple of years ago for Valentines Day. It’s long, so I’m going to post it in two parts. Give me your feedback.
Kissing can help you lose weight, relax, express love, boost your immune system, improve self-esteem, manage stress and stimulate your brain. Have I captivated your interest? Is it too good to be true? Science says no! There is one caveat; you have to be kissing your significant other. Kissing the wrong person at the wrong time can actually be hazardous to your health.
Here’s something that feels good, is natural, contains no additives, has no calories and is good for your health: Kissing! So pucker up, it could save your life.
Why Kissing? There are a number of reasons.
A serious, tongue-tangling French kiss exercises all the underlying muscles of the face – which some say could keep you looking younger and certainly looking happier. A pucker kiss only uses two muscles. A real French kiss activates all 34 of your facial muscles, and the highest level of serious making out, properly done, engages every muscle and tendon in your body.
Kissing will make you smile, too; and that’s definitely will make you look better, happier and healthier.
Kissing can slow the aging process – it tones your jaw and cheek muscles, reducing sagging.
Kissing might even help you lose weight, says Bryant Stamford, PhD, professor and director of health promotion center at the University of Louisville. “During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn two calories a minute—double your metabolic rate,” he says. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill).
Kissing is a “sensual meditation”, says Joy Davidson, PhD, psychologist and clinical sexologist in Seattle, Washington. “It stops the buzz in your mind, it quells anxiety, and it heightens the experience of being present in the moment. It actually produces a lot of the physiological changes that meditation produces.
While kissing isn’t a replacement for brushing your teeth, it does provide extra saliva that washes bacteria off your teeth. Kissing also boosts your immune system. By exchanging bacteria through a kiss you are stimulating your internal defense mechanism.
You live longer.
Now that we know kissing is actually good for you, what the problems. Here are the ten common excuses and the solutions.
Tomorrow I will post the common excuses for not kissing more and will include the K.I.S.S. Ten Second Plan.
Kissing can help you lose weight, relax, express love, boost your immune system, improve self-esteem, manage stress and stimulate your brain. Have I captivated your interest? Is it too good to be true? Science says no! There is one caveat; you have to be kissing your significant other. Kissing the wrong person at the wrong time can actually be hazardous to your health.
Here’s something that feels good, is natural, contains no additives, has no calories and is good for your health: Kissing! So pucker up, it could save your life.
Why Kissing? There are a number of reasons.
A serious, tongue-tangling French kiss exercises all the underlying muscles of the face – which some say could keep you looking younger and certainly looking happier. A pucker kiss only uses two muscles. A real French kiss activates all 34 of your facial muscles, and the highest level of serious making out, properly done, engages every muscle and tendon in your body.
Kissing will make you smile, too; and that’s definitely will make you look better, happier and healthier.
Kissing can slow the aging process – it tones your jaw and cheek muscles, reducing sagging.
Kissing might even help you lose weight, says Bryant Stamford, PhD, professor and director of health promotion center at the University of Louisville. “During a really, really passionate kiss, you might burn two calories a minute—double your metabolic rate,” he says. (This compares to 11.2 calories per minute you burn jogging on a treadmill).
Kissing is a “sensual meditation”, says Joy Davidson, PhD, psychologist and clinical sexologist in Seattle, Washington. “It stops the buzz in your mind, it quells anxiety, and it heightens the experience of being present in the moment. It actually produces a lot of the physiological changes that meditation produces.
While kissing isn’t a replacement for brushing your teeth, it does provide extra saliva that washes bacteria off your teeth. Kissing also boosts your immune system. By exchanging bacteria through a kiss you are stimulating your internal defense mechanism.
You live longer.
Now that we know kissing is actually good for you, what the problems. Here are the ten common excuses and the solutions.
Tomorrow I will post the common excuses for not kissing more and will include the K.I.S.S. Ten Second Plan.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Rekindling the Passion
According to Shad Helmstetter, the brilliant behavioral researcher and best-selling author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, the choices that we make every day determine our direction in life.
I had the opportunity to spent a week with Dr. Shad while attending The Life Coach Insitute. One of my favorite quotes of Dr. Shad is “Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”
America’s Dream Coach, Marcia Wieder, suggests that we can use passion as a barometer for deciding what we will or won’t do when choice is an option. She says we can rekindle our passion by going on a “Passion Quest by observing what excites us versus what drains us.
We can then rekindle or reignite our passion by simply doing more of what we love. This can be applied to both work-related and personal matters.
I had the opportunity to spent a week with Dr. Shad while attending The Life Coach Insitute. One of my favorite quotes of Dr. Shad is “Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”
America’s Dream Coach, Marcia Wieder, suggests that we can use passion as a barometer for deciding what we will or won’t do when choice is an option. She says we can rekindle our passion by going on a “Passion Quest by observing what excites us versus what drains us.
We can then rekindle or reignite our passion by simply doing more of what we love. This can be applied to both work-related and personal matters.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Is it a Stroke?
Every day I get emails encouraging me to read and then forward to all my friends. I have learned to check them out on the Urban Legends site (http://www.snopes.com/). Usually I discover they are false. This one turned out to be true. The following information is from the American Stroke Association. Email me if you would like the link to the web page.
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness often spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
*Ask the individual to SMILE.
*Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
*Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of nonmedical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Help spread the word.
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness often spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
*Ask the individual to SMILE.
*Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
*Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE.
If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of nonmedical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Help spread the word.
37 Pounds - Weight Loss Update
Back on January 10th I wrote about my Monday Morning Weight checks. That morning I had weighted in at 235 pounds and had lost a total of 30 pounds. This morning I weighted 228 pounds. The downward trend continues and I feel great.
This past weekend there was quite a discussion of my buns at our annual Kiwanis Chili cook-off. Embarrassing, yes, but it also felt good to have people noticing. It made all the work worthwhile.
The last two pounds came off despite having a plate of spaghetti at the Gresham Senior Center fundraiser (my Kiwanis club had volunteered to helps serve) and being a judge at the chili cook-off. We had 15 outstanding entries and it took a lot of sampling to pick the winner.
It looks like I’ll be needing some new clothes soon. Everything is getting to be too big. That’s the kind of problem to have, right?
This past weekend there was quite a discussion of my buns at our annual Kiwanis Chili cook-off. Embarrassing, yes, but it also felt good to have people noticing. It made all the work worthwhile.
The last two pounds came off despite having a plate of spaghetti at the Gresham Senior Center fundraiser (my Kiwanis club had volunteered to helps serve) and being a judge at the chili cook-off. We had 15 outstanding entries and it took a lot of sampling to pick the winner.
It looks like I’ll be needing some new clothes soon. Everything is getting to be too big. That’s the kind of problem to have, right?
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Five Simple Rules to Being Happy
You may have seen these before, but a reminder is good now and then
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
What I Want to Write About
I believe that all of us are writers. Some of us are welling and able to come out of the closet and let the world know what is deep within our hearts.
I have been trying to explain why and what I want to write about. Kim Pearson http://www.primary-sources.com/ says it much better than I have been able too.
Her mission is to help people tell and preserve their unique and valuable stories. She publishes a free seasonal newsletter, filled with stories and poems, writing and remembering tips & tricks, upcoming events, and more. It is always informative and entertaining! You can subscribe at her website.
What I Want to Write About
Here is a piece I wrote during a "Write to Remember" class, about the reasons I do what I do:
I want to write about my real life and how it feels to be lonely some mornings and at the same time glad to be alone. I want to write about the giddiness that I feel when I see that the truth is not the truth, and that lies are sometimes the only honest way to go.
I want to write about the time my father threw a glass milk bottle at my mother, and how the bottle didn't hit her or even break; instead it swooped down one side of the porcelain sink and then up and out the other side, landing with a perfect tring right at Dad's feet. I want to write about how their laughter echoed off the walls like the pieces of broken glass that should have been there but weren't.
I want to write about the foregiveness that lives in the sweet secret river under the reeds of guilt and the mud of shame. I want to write about those stagnant emotional ponds full of fat tadpoles and biting bugs.
I want to write about the longing that fills my head and my hands that itch with fury. I want to write about how our stories merge together, and how our stories fall apart. I want to write about how the stories of my life are the stories of yours.
I want to write about the smell of new-cut grass and the taste of a mealy potato running with butter. I want to write about the moonlight hiding everything but the shadows. I want to show you how the shadows may speak to you if you listen with your heart as well as your ears.
copyright 2004 Kim Pearson http://www.primary-sources.com/ Reprinted with permission.
Why do you want to write? Share with us. Click on “Comments” below and then on “Post a Comment”.
Why do you want to write? Share with us. Click on “Comments” below and then on “Post a Comment”.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Lessons from our Elders
I published a weekly E-Letter for a couple of years. In October 2002 I published this article.
A friend sent the following to me.
"A few years ago my husband and I were given the opportunity to minister to some elderly ladies that attended the church where we were at the time. One of them kept asking us why we bothered with them because they were so old and feeble and really had nothing to do here anymore. I told her at the time what the Lord told me---that everyone has worth in his eyes, but it is in our own eyes that we are nothing. The reason for these ladies being here and not with him was because there were people here who needed to learn compassion, and the only way for them to do that was to care for people who were here who needed them, for whatever reason in the natural. If there were no people who needed us, we would never learn to be compassionate---it is part of becoming like Christ---he was compassionate to everyone of us!"
At one time our families were multigenerational with children, parents and grandparents all living under one roof. The grandparents had a roll in the life of the family. Children had a chance to know their grandparents.
Now the elderly are moved into retirement centers, extended care facilities and nursing homes. Elder care has become a growth industry. Once children took care of their grandparents and parents until the end, now they pick the facility where their parents will live out their lives. Today over 1.6 million people live in nursing homes.
I remember reading a book by Leo basically. He describes a class on love that he taught at the University of Southern California. One of the assignments for his students was to spent time in a nursing home with the elderly. I always remembered that story. Later I would encourage Club Scout Packs to adopt nursing homes and to have the Cub Scouts visit at various times during the year. I also remember doing a flag ceremony at a retirement center on Independence Day. My three scout age sons assisted me. The residents were wonderful.
Leo basically, the Love Professor, as he was fondly called, said "It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely."
On Monday nights you'll find me at the Cascadia retirement home in nearby Sandy, participating in a sing-a-long with fellow Kiwanians and residents. Together we make beautiful music. Lucille, Eleanor, Bob, Libby (we lost Libby this past August), Andy and all the others have taught me so much about life and living. I also found that I really like to sing. They are all very kind and don't tell me how bad I really am. The encouragement is wonderful.
When are you doing to bring hope to the lost and love to the lonely? Up to 60% of the nursing home residents have no regular visitors. My next column will be about the Adopt-a-Nursing home program.
A friend sent the following to me.
"A few years ago my husband and I were given the opportunity to minister to some elderly ladies that attended the church where we were at the time. One of them kept asking us why we bothered with them because they were so old and feeble and really had nothing to do here anymore. I told her at the time what the Lord told me---that everyone has worth in his eyes, but it is in our own eyes that we are nothing. The reason for these ladies being here and not with him was because there were people here who needed to learn compassion, and the only way for them to do that was to care for people who were here who needed them, for whatever reason in the natural. If there were no people who needed us, we would never learn to be compassionate---it is part of becoming like Christ---he was compassionate to everyone of us!"
At one time our families were multigenerational with children, parents and grandparents all living under one roof. The grandparents had a roll in the life of the family. Children had a chance to know their grandparents.
Now the elderly are moved into retirement centers, extended care facilities and nursing homes. Elder care has become a growth industry. Once children took care of their grandparents and parents until the end, now they pick the facility where their parents will live out their lives. Today over 1.6 million people live in nursing homes.
I remember reading a book by Leo basically. He describes a class on love that he taught at the University of Southern California. One of the assignments for his students was to spent time in a nursing home with the elderly. I always remembered that story. Later I would encourage Club Scout Packs to adopt nursing homes and to have the Cub Scouts visit at various times during the year. I also remember doing a flag ceremony at a retirement center on Independence Day. My three scout age sons assisted me. The residents were wonderful.
Leo basically, the Love Professor, as he was fondly called, said "It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely."
On Monday nights you'll find me at the Cascadia retirement home in nearby Sandy, participating in a sing-a-long with fellow Kiwanians and residents. Together we make beautiful music. Lucille, Eleanor, Bob, Libby (we lost Libby this past August), Andy and all the others have taught me so much about life and living. I also found that I really like to sing. They are all very kind and don't tell me how bad I really am. The encouragement is wonderful.
When are you doing to bring hope to the lost and love to the lonely? Up to 60% of the nursing home residents have no regular visitors. My next column will be about the Adopt-a-Nursing home program.
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